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i'm scaredplease (-and i)
please understand that the last time i remember being completely carefree about quickened heartbeats and blushed cheeks were the days when i did quizzes on blogthings for entertainment and rushed through my math homework so i could go on the computer as early as possible. those were the days of red scribbles on grid paper before i lost touch with things and then the paper turned into pink and white sticky notes promoting breast cancer awareness with scribbles made from pencils or maybe blue pen i

don't (-know)
don't forget i gave you something special twice. and i don't know if you know this clearly but you ripped it apart

one of those days.it was one of those days when you wake up feeling groggy and rub your hands over your eyes a little too hard so that when you open them everything looks too dark to be a morning, and you blink and blink for a while until you realize it's not just you, and it really is dark, and it takes you a while longer until you know the alarm clock went off early, and the whole world is still asleep, and at that moment, you feel like you're the only one in the house that has an awareness of reality right now.

and sometimes it's when you listen to pop love songs while writing a business letter, and accidentally end up writing meaningless lyrics instead of

dear dreams,dear dreams,

i remember you being slightly bigger, way back when.
much, much bigger. like, the size of a flying building times an airplane, or the power to control the weather, and be a famous singer and dancer and an awesome kindergarten teacher, all at the same time. or something.

looking back, it seems as though, all the time that i spent growing, you spent shrinking. and your decreasing pattern was probably not linear.

the first things that i think changed you, were the things that i watched and read over and over, and then you became love songs and poems and stories, and i became a character in a novel.

you were still pretty big bac

forever in a nutshell.forever is
the moment when today turns into tomorrow
and tomorrow turns into today

it is
going backward and forward
in circles that grow
infinitely and

forever.it

is the continuum hypothesis
where infinite sets can have different sizes
all too great to contain within a single mind
like the line between insanity and

this.

it is bigger than the biggest imagination of the most imaginative child
and smaller than the smallest mind of the most small-minded man

it is anything divided by zero
and a ribbon in the shape of an eight

it is the lie or promise behind true love and
the faith or wish between heaven and hell
and an illusio

things i wanted to write abouti wanted to write about
running out of oxygen, and being afraid
of how much it hurts to jump off from
the edge of a cliff, and not knowing
at all how far the ground was, or when you would ever land.

i wanted to write about
oceans, and drowning, and falling and crashing,
and the way you said i love you and
the time i really believed you and the times
i thought i didn't love you back and the first time when
i honestly realized admitted that i truly
madly deeply did and that i would never ever stop and i
sat down in a corner, pulled my hat over my eyes and
cried.
during the bus ride on the way home.

and
the time i was afraid that

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Submitted: July 25, 2009
Image Size: 1.0 MB
Resolution: 1602×1061

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Comments: 12
Favourites: 5 [who?]
Views: 246 (0 today)
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Camera Data

Make:HP
Model:HP pstc3100
Date Taken:Feb 10, 2009, 10:20:32 PM

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watermelon.by ~starcatcher42

Photography / Darkroom / Traditional

©2009-2013 ~starcatcher42

taken with an SLR film camera,
developed in a darkroom, old-school style. :D
and the watermelon is hand-tinted.
not photoshop.

_{darkened the image a bit in photoshop though. -- and acidentally smudged some parts with smudge tool, somehow; and didn't realize it 'til later. but am too lazy to fix. 3=}

~jellybeanstar Sep 5, 2009

did you take photography in grade 11 ? *sniff**sniff* i miss that class so much

I want to take photography with Mr mosher again he was so funny!

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~starcatcher42 May 6, 2011

Nope.
I just took it in grade 10.

Haha, yeah.

It was a fun class.

Reply

~jellybeanstar May 6, 2011

aw

good memories good memories

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~starcatcher42 May 7, 2011

yep~ ^-^

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*Pickled-Poppy Jul 26, 2009 Student Writer

Looks delicious! I love it lotsly.
Well done for doing it old school <3

Reply

~starcatcher42 Jul 26, 2009

thank you ^-^
=] old school = love. =3

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~kittifer Jul 25, 2009

That is awesome. Loving the old school style

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~starcatcher42 Jul 27, 2009

:D thankyou;

Reply

~kittifer Jul 29, 2009

you're welcome

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~starcatcher42 Jul 29, 2009

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